teendahood | JOURNALING IN THERAPY (5) : Should i leave?

It's been a month i guess, i am not writing in this journal.

It's different from the other that locked. I am going to post this public.

Been more than a months since the last time I open this journal.

I guess since Ramadhan or maybe when i am back to my hometown. I put all my fandom behind me, for enjoying Harry Styles live tour.
Yes I am into him since he bought the Live Tour on March i think.
Since then I keep on track with him.

The thought of leaving J - fandom was since 2014. When I've got my broken heart. that yes, trully hurt. and none can minding it.
And there's Nino rumor with the Ayaka's. felt betrayed of those white lies. but well yeah, this is Idol, what dyou expect?

And now, that Harry Styles is over,and i cant keep running away from this pain, so... i think i should stop running away from my real life into somethin .. "IDOL-ING".

I'm just tired of running away.

This 2014's pain keep hunting me.

and i'm still dreaming of this person. and i hate the thought that i cant even send mssge. that i miss your presence. how do you do?

now you know, how i love angst stories. because i love hurting my self.